The Messy Middle (Where I Currently Live)
Right now, I’m not at the dramatic “end” of a story where everything ties up neatly, and I’m definitely not at the shiny “new beginning” part either. Nope. I’m smack in the middle — the messy middle.
It’s still summer, so subbing hasn’t started yet. I’ve circled September on the calendar like it’s the start of some grand new adventure… but for now? For now, I’m in limbo.
This middle space is weird. It’s the part no one really writes about — because it’s not glamorous. It’s not dramatic enough to be a “rock bottom” story, and it’s not polished enough to be a “how I made it” success story. It’s just… messy.
Here’s what my messy middle looks like:
Waking up some mornings ready to conquer the world, and other mornings where “conquering the world” means unloading the dishwasher.
Trying out little projects — like creating Teachers Pay Teachers resources, scribbling down blog posts, recording a podcast — and wondering if they’re building toward something bigger or just giving me an excuse to procrastinate on laundry.
Pretending to “work from home,” but really falling down rabbit holes about fonts, Canva templates, and whether my logo looks more “cute business owner” or “PTA bake sale.”
Feeling inspired one second and questioning my entire existence the next. (10/10 do not recommend Googling “what to do with your life” at 2 a.m.)
But here’s the thing I keep reminding myself: the middle is where the story actually takes shape. It’s where you try, fail, experiment, and accidentally build skills you didn’t even know you needed. It’s not the part you frame for Instagram — but it’s the part that makes the ending possible.
I don’t have it all figured out yet. I don’t have a neat five-step plan. What I do have is a lot of coffee, a messy notebook full of half-baked ideas, and the stubborn belief that something good is going to grow out of this season.
So, if you’re in your own messy middle right now — waiting, wondering, trying little things that may or may not stick — I see you. You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re just in the middle. And that’s exactly where the magic starts, even if it looks like chaos.
